Uncalculated casualties vs. calculated indifference.

So, for those who know me pretty well--and for those who don't--I have applied for a Fulbright scholarship to return to Sri Lanka next year. The fellowship would have me continuing research on the Upper Kotmale Hydropower Project in Talawakelle. I'm not sure if I actually even really want to go back. Indeed, Sri Lanka was a beautiful country, and I established a life-long connection with my host family. However, I cannot forget the hundreds of lonely nights in my room, missing family and friends and hating and frustrated with everything foreign around me. Xenophobic maybe...I like to think that it was more culture shock than anything.

My fate is currently being controlled by two entities: the IIE, who will review and analyze my project proposal, and decide whether it is worthy of a few thousand dollars of funding. and more importantly, the US State Department, who are currently monitoring the political situation in Sri Lanka. Since 1983, Sri Lanka has been in a hot-cold civil war between the Sinhalese-majority government, and the minority terrorist organization (but default negotiating body) Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam. While there was a ceasefire agreement signed in 2002, things heated up right after I left the country in late 2005. Since then, over 3,000 Sri Lankans have been killed, with hundreds of thousands displaced from homes. This has also furthered a rift between the Tamil and Muslim populations in the country.

It has arguably been the most heated and troubling conflicts in the world, behind the Iraq invasion and the Israel-Lebanon crisis of this summer. The country is it utter disarray. The LTTE has got remarkable terrorist connections all over the island, and have been able to execute crippling suicide bombings in the nation's capital of Colombo. Political assassinations have occurred on both sides. Meanwhile, the rising refugee crisis further complicates the ongoing Tsunami relief work along the coastlines, as NGOs continue to flood into the country to provide assistance. Meanwhile, the two sides, headed by hardnosed, nationalist conservative leaders, show no signs of removing the finger from the trigger. The war is not over territory. It is a guerrilla conflict between two corrupt regimes who wield selfish military and cultural power over an impoverished and faded population.

The country is not hurting for natural resources. There is an 89% literacy rate in the urban centers. It can draw life from the lush highlands, humid plains, or sparkling sea. However, it has not elected a beneficial leader or parliament since independence in 1948. It is truly a depressing situation.

I find myself wondering how I'll prepare myself to deal with the very real crisis. There's danger, sure. But, can I go with an impartial mindset. The short answer is yes. I find myself so utterly uncaring towards either side, I see no reason to pick sides. Mahinda Rajapakse has Bushian tendencies of possessing the industrial military complex, waging reckless and inhumane war in civilian-heavy areas of the North and East. The LTTE, more than the PLO, Hamas, Hezbollah, or even the Taliban, are a terrorist organization, with nothing but perverted evil coursing through their vains. No legitimate, innocent movement kidnaps children to be annihilated on the front. No body seeking peaceful autonomy will rape women and kill/kidnap husbands to establish a reign of fear and submission. There are no good guys.

Could I possibly live in a war-torn country without caring about the war?

Hell. I sort of live in a war-torn country that doesn't care about a war.)